People skills are very important for leaders. Dealing with people is often the most acutely felt challenge for leaders.
The pathway to leadership is usually through a technical skills set that suddenly changes into a people centric. Even people who come to leadership via a interpersonal services role face new challenges. Their roles were different to the types of role a leader is in, with its corporate responsibilities and the very real power and influence it exercises over other people's work lives. The people that leaders lead are there everyday, unlike customers who may come and go for short periods of time. It is one thing to deal with someone for the duration of a transaction, quite another to have responsibility for them and work beside them for years.
One of the most important things for leaders to remember is that people are more than their work role. People are complex, more complex than any one person can be aware of, including their self-awareness. Life is a constant unfolding of self-discovery or avoidance of it. As a leader, you will always be dealing with levels of people you don't know or understand. And it's none of your business either. We are leaders, not therapists, when exercising corporate responsibility.
So leaders have to develop sensitivity to people and the ability to respond to how they act and behave. A simple principle is that workplaces are for adults. People have to manage themselves. The role of the leader is to help them do that by setting expectations, coaching, resourcing, supporting and providing feedback. If a leader does this well most adults will respond well. If they don't then, as adults, they can be held accountable for their choices.
This presents us with a critical principle: A leader cannot hold another person accountable for their performance unless that leader has first provided them with the necessary direction and support so they can succeed. This is a variation on the principle used in the Leading Performance module, that the role of the supervisor is to help every person succeed.
So what people skills or interpersonal skills are important?
Here are some key ones:
- Empathy - recognise others' feelings, pressures, priorities, efforts and sense of self.
- Self-awareness - sensitivity to your own bias, assumptions, styles, feelings and stressors.
- Active listening - demonstrate that you hear and clarify that you have heard correctly.
- Diversity - facilitate diversity of age, gender, culture and styles.
- Trustworthy - follow up, reliability, confidentiality and consistency.
- Adaptability - vary relationship style to include different types of personalities and situations.
- Negotiation - bring people to agreement based on facts and values.
- Humour - use humour to lift people up and help them engage, ensuring people don't feel embarrassed or stupid.
- Solutions focus - work with people to create better outcomes rather than focus on blame or pessimism.
- Effective verbal expression - express yourself clearly in language, expressions and gestures that help people to understand.
Some frameworks that help people develop awareness and skills in these areas are:
- Emotional intelligence - There are a couple of well researched, evidenced based frameworks for emotional intelligence, such as Bar-On's EQ-i. These can help you to review your skills and find areas to develop.
- Situational Leadership - Contingency leadership theory highlights the importance of adapting styles to match the situation people are in. A classic model is the Situational Leadership model of Ken Blanchard.
- Effectiveness Training - Thomas Gordon's classic works on teacher and parent effectiveness training provide many useful tips for working effectively with others.